Crock Pot Pimpin'

"No one man should have all that Power:" That quote comes to mind as I think of the best way to explain my approach with women on twitter. Not because I think I can have any woman I desire (that couldn't be further more from the truth), but because unlike most men I'm not pressed for pussy. Don't get it twisted however, I love pussy. I talk about hoes all day and I surround myself with beautiful women as much as I can. I am completely obsessed with them but, I am also completely in control of myself at all times. I don't feel the need to lie or run game to trick women into sleeping with me. I simply crack jokes, ask questions, tell stories and eventually end up washing up before I leave. My "cant lose" approach technically allows me to always win, which I consider to be very powerful.

My homie Philly recently "pulled my card" and accused me of "trying to get at all his hoes and talking to them like I went to middle school with them". He said "This nigga Haz will tweet a broad two months straight 'Hows your day' 'LOL' & 'cool' and before she know it, she ass naked in a Best Western." Now on the surface that statement is fucking hilarious, but being a fellow Gemini I noticed it had a significant amount of depth to it mostly because it was somewhat true. He brought my subconscious approach to my own attention and after some thought I've formed a theory that I dub "Crock Pot Pimpin." Before I begin this is not a guide to get at girls on twitter. If you ask me there is no guide to get girls . I'm not here to tell you how you should or shouldn't do anything. I'm just a regular nigga and what you fuck don't make me nut.


I call my method Crock Pot Pimpin' because it's similar to the process of cooking in a Crock Pot. You take out some time to put the ingredients together (hoes), throw them in the pot, set it at a low temperature and leave. Then you allow for your preparation to pay off in the end with a nice home cooked meal with little to no effort on your part. I think its a perfect metaphor to describe the scenario Philly tweeted about my twitter ways. I flirt with women openly on my timeline for the world to see because I truly have nothing to hide. Most people probably see my random pointless conversations with women as thirst but I consider it preparation. I'm in no rush to jump in a woman's DM, get her number, call or text her and attempt to take her out in hope's to have sex with her. That's fast food in my eyes. I much rather tweet 20 hoes good morning, tell another 10 a joke and log off and go about my day. I simply plant the seed and allow for it to develop on its own. In my mind you have nothing to lose when it comes to getting women. You don't have them before you approach them so in the end the worst that can happen is they say no and you end up where you were when you started. I flirt with women on twitter usually just to pass the time. One thing men and women should understand is just because a person flirts it doesn't meant they want to fuck. 75% of the women I flirt with online I never have intentions of doing anything with. Not to say I wouldn't if the opportunity presented itself but I learned a long time ago "You cant fuck em all." I don't do the whole DM thing unless its personal information being sent from one person to the next, so all of my "thirst" is usually on display for the world to see. On one hand that's bad because every mutual follower I have see's me flirting with every female I follow and usually takes it the wrong way, but at the same time it can be good because all the women I follow see that what I do and say is genuine and I'm the same with everybody.

Another plus is nothing attracts a woman like the scent of another woman. Women see me interacting with other women openly and it tends to spark some form of interest.I never had hoes until I let the world know Haz loves hoes. Also, I've noticed that the worse I talk about myself the more interested they become. So with that said I'll be the first to admit that I ain't shit and I'm just a regular ass nigga. I talk to women like I know them as a means to make them feel more comfortable. If I approach a female like we're already friends she will naturally be friendly. Ever approach a woman for her number out of the blue and she hit you with the "I don't even know you" line? Well chances are you approached her like a stranger who wanted something from her which made her immediately put her guard up. I rarely have that problem because instead of approaching her like a stranger trying to make her feel attracted to me, I simply approach her like I already know her and she already likes me. People always assume I know people they see me tweet personally because I talk like we have history but that's just a psychological technique I use. I keep it casual with hi's lol's and small talk to keep things simple and easy and that signifies the low heat that a Crock Pot cooks on. Whereas the man that goes straight at a female's neck would be considered high heat and the sucker that ends up in the friend zone is no heat, my approach is low heat.. Make no mistake about it I'm not friendly in the sense I just want to be friends. My intentions are known from the gate, its just the way I go about expressing those intentions that I feel is unique. I might talk about sex with a woman, but its always light hearted and fun. I'm never on some I wanna fuck you from the back or when you gonna come sit on my face shit. As odd as it sounds even though I call women hoes you won't find one that will say I talk to or treat her disrespectfully.  I also always assume attraction with women which tends to make them be attracted to me.Assuming attraction means I go into the situation already thinking the woman is or will be attracted to me. I'm not caught up on trying to impress her if anything she has to impress me. My first tweet to a female might be me something like me telling her she ain't shit, as opposed to some fake compliment cause she posted a thirst trap*. I can only imagine how many times Philly would RT a female, only to later see me going back and forth with her on his timeline wondering to himself "where the fuck she know Haz from." That's just me simply assuming attraction and making her feel comfortable enough to interact with me on a level so natural that people she knows in real life can't tell that I'm just another nigga on twitter.

Now I'm sure many people would think its more work to tweet here and there for weeks or months than it is to just get straight to the point but I can assure you its not. Not only do I better my odds of success by taking the Crock Pot approach, but in those 2 months Philly mentioned I'm openly preparing multiple women. When you tweet a female a joke or two and she responds with lol or some form of cooperation and you immediately jump in her DM you rapidly change the dynamic of the relationship. Its like those calls that say you won something only to get your attention and when you show a sign of interest and press 1 they show their true colors and attempt to sell you something. You immediately put pressure on the female to make a decision up front based off of little to no information about you, and in most cases women see it as a turn off. As soon as she shows interest and you ask for her number that's basically you going all in and showing your hand. My approach on the other hand is to take my time and control the pace of my pursuit. I keep things casual and friendly, while controlling the level of sexual tension at the same time. Every time I tweet a  woman the conversation has a friendly yet sexual undertone to it. As I stated before every woman I flirt with on twitter is not an attempt for me to have sex with them, but I always like to keep my options open. I now have beautiful female followers all over the country that I could visit whenever I'm in town and keep it strictly platonic with but the option for sex is always there if I choose to pull the pin.I am the ultimate shone because I have perfected the art of allowing a hoe to be a hoe. Women have to be comfortable to be in the mood for sex and having her feel like everyone of your conversations have an agenda behind them will not achieve that goal. I simply make women comfortable enough to be themselves, allow them to enjoy my company and give them the FREEDOM to CHOOSE whether or not they want to be involved with me sexually.I'm pro choice so its always the hoe's choice. I typically like to play dumb and set the tension so high that they get frustrated and make the first move, thus leaving me free of any blame or guilt in the future. More than half of the women I've interacted with off of twitter was initiated by them sliding in my DM with some half ass attempt to throw their crabby patty at me. Philly calls it subtle thirst and says I'm talking the hoes into a pussy trap and I might be, but sex isn't always my motive when talking to women. Good conversation is. As I stated before that fast paced run and gun technique is considered fast food to me. Any woman that reacts to an immediate DM after a follow is a hoe. In the words of Pac "I don't want it if its that easy." I enjoy the chase. I rather build a rapport with 10 quality hoes who only sleep with men they THINK they know than to just settle for hoes that I follow and DM as soon as they follow me back. To me that's the true Thirst. Ill go into that deeper on "The Thirst Theory" but that's my explanation for my actions. To those on the outside looking in it may seem like I'm always on the hunt or I'm extra thirsty but I truly am just tweeting and having fun. Men rarely have fun chasing women nowadays because they're too caught up on the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I know the pot is there, I rather take my time enjoy the colors on my way cause the gold ain't going nowhere. I realize using this rainbow as a metaphor is gonna have the pause and no homo thugs up in arms but this post ain't for them niggas so fuck em. Besides most y'all hoes pussy ain't no pot of gold anyway. In the end What might look like a random tweet can in fact be a random tweet or might be part of a bigger plan. I cant even always tell the difference. But I simply put in a little prep work and go about my business and when I'm ready I have a good quality meal waiting on me. In the end you cant fuck em all. Feel free to follow me @haztv

*A "thirst trap" is a subtle attempt to attain attention. Whether it be a late night "I'm lonely" tweet or a revealing twitpic the objective is to bait the opposite sex into showing you attention.

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#Hazism

Just because I refer to women as hoes doesn't mean I THINK I'm a pimp..... I just KNOW women are hoes #Hazism

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Randumb Rant

     Why must I always flush before I finish? I mean shit. I'm sitting here at work wondering how this time last week, I had three new pieces of potential pleasure on my line and now they're all gone. I got bored with one, annoyed with another and completely forgot about the third one. Now the last one I don't really mind because if she hasn't hit me up all week either then the lack of chemistry must've been mutual but I need to either start fucking these hoes quicker or learn to deal with them longer. I believe I suffer from knowing that there is always more fish in the sea, so I don't hesitate to cut a female off for the slightest reason. This kills my scoop to smack ratio. The scoop to smack ratio is the ratio of women you scoop (get the number) to smack (smack on the ass while hitting it from the back) For example, on average out of 10 women I scoop, I might end up sleeping with 2 of them and that's being generous. I figure 2 I'll strike out with for whatever reason they deem acceptable, 2 will serve a purpose greater than sex, 2 I'll get bored with 1 I'll get annoyed with and 1 will just get lost in the shuffle as I meet one of the other 2 women that I will be able to put up with long enough to shone. My brother thinks I'm crazy for taking shone so serious as he puts it, but it is what it is. You cant fuck em all. Just a thought....

Y Lie?

    Why do men HAVE to lie? That's a question I'm sure every woman has asked herself at least once. Men tell u what they want u to hear, sweat out ya weave and then treat u like the hoe they always thought u were. Sound familiar? Well that thought process is part of the reason your pussy is in the position its in. Now I agree men that lie to women to get sex are lower then the niggas who just outright pay for pussy, however more often than not the woman who is getting lied to lied to herself long before that man was even in the picture.

     First I'm gonna deal with the fellas on this. Fellas..... Its more than enough pussy to pass around. YOU CANT FUCK THEM ALL and you don't get points for being a "single boyfriend". Ill break down what a single boyfriend is another time but the point I am trying to get across is KEEP IT REAL WITH THESE HOES. Men lie to women because if we were completely honest with them the human race would have ceased to exist a long time ago. Women know what men want because women want it to. Unfortunately for US society tells THEM that what WE all want is wrong, even tho WE are the fucking society. Makes absolutely no sense to me but I realized a long time ago that I probably would never get as much pussy as I felt my dick deserved simply because I refuse to play "the game." The sad part being that "the game" only exist because u niggas is playing by the rules that the ladies allow "society" to set, that they don't even want to play by themselves. Society tells women that their natural inclination to desire sex like men do is wrong and that the only man they should have sex with is their boyfriend/fiance/husband. The problem is most men just wanna fuck. I'm being politically correct by saying most, but we just wanna fuck until we find a woman worth keeping. Nothing is wrong with that because realistically it's in a man's nature. The thing that makes a man a "dog" is how he goes about his pursuit of pussy. If all you desire in life from women is casual companionship and you are completely honest with all the women you encounter then how can you be considered a dog ass nigga? Women would either respect where you were coming from and fuck u because they CHOOSE to or they would respect where you were coming from and deny you. But if your telling every woman you want to be with her and only her, and that she is your everything and all that other shit y'all gas hoes heads up with then you aint shit but a lying ass nigga and your basically stealing pussy. Any man can tell a woman what she wanna hear but a real man tells a woman what she's gonna hear. Lemme say that again in case you missed it. Any man can tell a woman what she wanna hear but a real man tells a woman what she's gonna hear. Men "run game" on women because its easier than being honest with them. Think about it, why would a man meet a woman, break the ice with the common questions and then take the risk of blowing his chances of getting the ass by telling her all he wants out of her is sex. Most men feel like no matter how they phrase those words the end result will be the same. No pussy. So they take the

      Telling a woman what she wants to hear is theoretically taking the easy way out. You cant call yourself a pimp or a player or none of that other corny shit if your not keeping it 100 with the women your with and you almost cant even call yourself a man. I say this because by telling a woman what she wants to hear and lying to get her in bed your subconsciously putting her and her pussy on a pedestal and a position of power. Your saying that your not good enough for her as you are and you have to show her who she would like to see. A confident man displays himself as he is and allows the woman to choose him.If you lie to every woman you meet then no woman has every truly chosen YOU. Now I'm sure by now most men are calling me lame or ready to click the nigga please button at the bottom of this post but the truth is the truth. Men are gonna say confidence and giving a woman's pussy power has nothing to do with it, they just want the pussy and that's the easiest if not the only way to get it. What most men fail to realize however, is that it takes more time and effort to run game on a female then it does to just tell her the deal. Sure it'll take longer to find a woman that's intelligent enough to decide what she wants to do with her own body for herself instead of following societies rules, but the reward will be greater. There is no pussy worth the price of your pride. When men lie to women  for sex it has a double negative effect. On one hand they perpetuate the cycle of men having to bend over backwards to impress women enough to get them to sleep with them. Every time you lie and tell an ugly woman she is beautiful you create a false sense of entitlement for ugly hoes everywhere. Every time you tell a woman she is the only one you allow her to believe she should be the only one. Not every woman is wifey material. Its just a simple fact of life. Merely being born does not entitle you to anything in life but death, so stop creating this false sense of entitlement in women. Every time a woman is told what she wants to hear you reinforce her belief in those words, she just keeps searching for the man that truly means them, but no man ever really means them.If every man was honest with women it would over time force them to be honest with themselves. Remember a woman has to lie to herself before you can, that's what allows her to believe your lie.

     The second negative effect it has is when its all said and done and the truth is revealed it breeds a race of bitter bitches. Every woman has been lied to or done dirty by a man, so now most of them don't trust men and use their past as justification for their hoeish future. "Men play women so we do the same to men" is a bitter bitches motto. There is no such thing as a female player. If men would keep it real it would allow women to make an educated decision based off logic and not emotion therefore leaving them with nobody to blame in the end but themselves if things didn't go the way they expected them to. No man is willing to live up to ALL of  the expectations of today's woman but instead of telling them this and getting them to lower these unreasonable expectations men put on a stage play for the pussy. The woman gives you your script based on her description of what she is looking for and the man plays the part until he gets what he is looking for. In the end the woman always looses because her expectations were never reasonable to begin with, but she never knows this she just thinks that the men she comes across ain't shit.Or even worse, that all men ain't shit. If men would just tell women they want sex they would actually be surprised at the number of women who feel the same way. As I said before women have to deal with societal pressure when it comes to sex, so all a man has to do is make them feel comfortable and free of any negative repercussions and they will be good. Men just need to realize that the good majority of women wont say fuck what people think easily so they wont get as much pussy as they would like up front, but in the long run it will pay off. Not only will you get the pussy you DESERVE, but you will free up the good women for the men that are actually ready for a good woman so when you are ready for one there will be one left. The way it is now there are nothing but hoes left because men are trying to turn every woman into a hoe. You wont fuck every woman you want to by keeping it 100 but as I stated earlier YOU CANT FUCK THEM ALL. Once you come to peace with that then you will learn that you really have nothing to loose in the pursuit of pussy. You don't have the woman before you meet her so the only thing you can do is come up. If she says no then you cant loose what you never had. Stop letting pussy run your life. Get to the point where the pussy pursues you. But what do I know. I'm just a nigga with an opinion.

      Now for me to get on the women. I know what your probably thinking, what could we possibly be doing wrong  if we're the ones getting lied to right? Women are guilty of doing the same thing that men do, and that's taking the easy way out. It's easier for a woman to say she deserves to be treated like a queen just because she is a woman just like it's easier for a woman to play the victim and act like all men ain't shit.Now I believe that women should be treated like queens but I also believe that hoes should be treated like hoes and alot of women nowadays are hoes. A lot of women nowadays are dumb, and extremely naive and the picture above illustrates that. Its easier to just shake your ass for money than it is to learn how to read and go to school. Just like its easier to just listen to what a man tells you and believe it because it sounds good than it is to take any real responsibility for your own actions. You didn't let him fuck because he was nice to you.You did it because you wanted to fuck you just felt better about wanting to because he was a gentleman. If everybody just played their position we would all realize that hoes play a vital part in the same society that shuns them. I'm not going to define what a hoe is for once and for all because I'm saving that for the book, but I will tell you that a woman wanting to fuck a man whose only reason for not doing so is because of what somebody else will think is just as much of a hoe as the worst woman they can think of. Be a fucking adult and make up your own mind for once.If you just want to have casual sex with a man then fuck what anybody else thinks as long as you are responsible and respect yourself then whats the problem? Men only tell you what you want to hear because you WANT to hear it. If women didn't have such simple combinations on their coochies then men wouldn't be able to crack their codes so easily. Or if pussy wasn't the only prize they had to offer men, then it wouldnt be such a big deal when a man got the pussy. Now I know that a woman's pussy is her prize possession but the reasons for that are more physical than emotional. A man wouldnt lie to you to lie with you if it wasnt easier than being honest in the first place. Its like the parent that always blows up at their kids for the smallest thing that doesn't seem to understand why their kid never comes to them about anything. If you checked your expectations and were honest about what you have to offer a man then maybe you would be more realistic with the type of men you interact with and they would be more honest with you. In other words if every man you come across is lying to you then at some point you need to ask yourself what your doing that makes you so hard to be honest with. Its easy to say all men are the same when you always interact with the same men the same way. Most women haven't done shit to deserve shit yet believe every man they come across thinks the world of them until they realize its all "game." If you ask me you hoes deserve the lies your told.

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IM NOT A SHONE........ SOMEBODY LIED!!!!

Before we begin this journey I would like to thank u for ur interest in the ramblings of a regular nigga... The fact that ur reading these words shows me that your priorities are in the right place... As you can see there wont always be proper grammar or punctuation in these blogs cause quite frankly this is the internet and im lazy when it comes to things of little importance such as the correct use of the English language on a blog about hoes.... With that said welcome to my world... Ahoebics was created by me and it is my philosophy on the modern interactions between men and women. Sure on the surface it seems like just another nigga talking about hoes but its deeper than that. When reading my blogs keep in mind three simple things that will help you better understand who I am. The first is I enjoy words... The fact that they posses so much power but are in all actuality physically harmless is a phenomenon I will probably never fully understand. I like to play with words to get a reaction out of people so if you feel yourself being lead in a certain direction dont worry thats just me attempting to manipulate the masses... Secondly I genuinely dont give a fuck. I know its cliche to say it but its true. There can only be one HAZ and unfortunately he is a bit of a Hazhole  so i apologize in advance. And finally Im not an expert on anything but my opinion... My opinions usually just happen to be based off facts... My goal with this blog is just to create dialogue within the community on topics that I feel are considered taboo or rarely discussed. As I stated before these are my opinions which are backed by facts so feel free to debate any of my theories, thats what they're here for. Cooperation is key to the Conversation.